You will be happy to know that I write to you, today, in quest of...
A CYCLING PARTNER!
I AM CURRENTLY ACCEPTING APPLICATIONS--RIGHT NOW!
Please realize, of course, that, when I say, "a cycling partner," what I really mean is a deli partner! THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH BICYCLES!
Advance apologies for liberal use of memes in this article; you will find them appropriate, I trust.
The deli is a sacred place, bathed in many sacred rituals (and spiced brines, of course). Now, if I am to fully indulge and immerse myself in my own modern cultural heritage, then I can't overlook the deli--America is a giant patchwork quilt, woven together from panels of salami, knockwurst, pastrami, cotto pepper salami, black forest ham, provolone, muenster, gjetost, a variety of flavorful pickles and slaw.
I hold, too, that the deli is a fixture in the lives of some which borders on religion and, for others, it ought to! Much of religion, pan specia, is heavily concerned with all things seasonal. Therefore, I think a tour of regional delicatessens, with a seasonal theme, is in order. And I'd rather not do this alone!
Are you with me...partner?
IT STARTS!
Spring:
We begin in the Southwest. Not necessarily the "Bobby Flay Southwest," but, like, Arizona and southern California. We will pay visits to Phoenix, Los Angeles, San Diego, San Francisco and Sacramento. The theme of this little dance will be avocado, chipotle, adobo, feta, sourdough, ciabatta, mozzarella, turkey and fish. We'll be gabbing about tropical maladies, celebrities' butts and our most embarrassing high school moment!
Summer:
Summer brings us to the lovely Pacific Northwest, sampling the wares of delis in Olympia, Portland and Eugene. The name of the game, here is black forest ham, roast chicken, cheddar, Monterrey jack, aoili, pesto, sourdough and dark rye! Conversation topics will include the yearly struggles of the Seattle Mariners, self-respect and automotive topics.
Fall:
The Fall takes us through the eastern PNW and down into the Rocky Mountain West. We'll hit up Missoula, Bozeman, Laramie, Denver and Breckenridge. Les Motifs de Manger will be nut breads, baguette, swiss, edam, honey ham, roast beef, mustards and relishes. We'll discuss such subjects as where it all went wrong, repressed childhood traumas and the one that got away!
Winter:
Winter will see the tour winding down in the western Midwest and western Upper Midwest. The Delinauts will call into such ports as Sioux Falls, Minneapolis, St. Paul, Fargo, Bismarck and Rapid City. Thasty Themes will be cranberry sauce, mayo, chicken breast, steak, pepperjack, limburger, bleu cheese, radicchio, various tomatoes and various peppers! Conversation topics will include, mainly, the ways in which we'd like to die!
Needless to say, this experience would be not only delicious but distinctly, uniquely American. I know I'm not the only one out there who has entertained the desire for such a tasty tour of our great nation! So get at me, today, and we'll hash out the details!
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